Valentines Day Gift Mistakes

By Daniel Taverne

It’s nearing that mushy time of year again where our women expect us men to be charming, sensitive and romantic. That being said, isn’t it about time to begin the tedious task of searching for that perfect gift, a gift that communicates all three of these noble virtues, all the while preserving your manly dignity and peace of mind? Of course it is, but unfortunately all too many of us men get caught up in wanting to get away from the tried and true flowers, candy and jewelry and make an attempt at being creative.

To that end, there are countless men in the world who rethink the whole Valentines Day gift giving tradition, and convince themselves that thinking out side the box is a much better way to say I love you. Well, I’m here to tell you that when talking about Valentine’s gifts, unless you are very careful, thinking outside the box can get you into a lot of trouble. Hopefully, after reading this you’ll be able to recognize those items that could potentially come back to haunt you, and avoid unpleasantness.

When thinking of gifts to avoid giving to your woman, for instance, avoid those cool gifts that you would want someone to give to you. Scientific studies have shown that most women, for one reason or another, would prefer to not receive a half inch breaker bar, or a fishing pole with a full array of lures. In addition, my advice to you is don’t buy your significant other a set of stainless steel Allen wrenches, or a subscription to popular mechanics.

Even more important than above, avoid giving gifts that imply your better half is over weight. For example, Valentine’s Day is not a good day to present your lady with a new bathroom scale. Additionally, it’s a good idea to pass up that used copy of, “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” that you’ve had your eye on in Goodwill for the past month. Also, don’t give your better half a dress that is three sizes to small nor three sizes too large. If it’s too small, she’ll think you want her to loose weight, and if it’s too large, you’re implying she’s too fat.

Avoid obtaining Valentine’s Day gifts that say, “You’re a slob. For instance, don’t give her a new pack of swiffer pads, or a few cans of lemon fresh Pledge thinking you’ve satisfied your woman’s requirements since, upon opening the gift wrapping, these items have an unusually high probability of being given back to you at a higher velocity than when you gave them to her. Also, avoid presenting your lady with a new broom and mop, unless you’re prepared to become intimate with them.

There is evidence that suggests some men simply forget that Valentines Day is approaching, and actually get caught off guard on the day that the gift needs to be available. After this happens, the poor absent minded guy has to produce a gift at a moment’s notice. If this ever happens to you, here are a few things to avoid giving to your woman:

Avoid giving your woman a half used can of under-arm deodorant, and don’t give her your 8th grade science project (a mounted collection of insects) saying how sentimental they make you feel. Chances are a gift such as this will not charm your lady. Additionally, don’t give her your old copy of “Worlds Greatest Insults” unless you want to hear a few of them used on you.

Maybe you’ll decide that you want to rent a movie, then romantically share the couch and a bowl of popcorn while watching it. If this sounds like something you might do, then take my advice and rent a romantic movie. Don’t rent movies like, “Aliens”, “Predator” or “Terminator” unless you want your lady to terminate the evening by making you sleep on the couch.

Finally, since Valentines Day only comes around once per year, don’t forget it’s coming soon, and when looking for a gift remember the tried and true gifts (flowers, jewelry and candy) that have served men well over the years, and remember that they are universally appealing to most women. Don’t be afraid, however , to think outside the box and break from tradition if you find something that is truly romantic and has sentimental value to both of you. If you do this, you’ll have a happy partner with a new and heart warming reason to be glad to be your Valentine.