By Daniel Taverne
Coveting thy neighbor's wife and goods are two sins the bible instructs us to avoid. That said, is there any wonder why the biblical writers left out the rule forbidding people from coveting thy neighbor’s kids? Now I know it’s counter intuitive to think that our neighbor's kids could ever be coveted by anyone, but after thinking about this a while, I realized that I often do indeed find myself thinking how great other people's kids are compared to my own.
For instance, Rorie, our neighbor’s hyperactive three year old insists on calling me Miss Dan. This is not an overly dramatic error on her part; I mean she’s only three. I get worried about this though because I stopped correcting her, and started answering her as if I actually am “Miss” Dan. What I do therefore both when her hyperactivity and her constant onslaught of, “Miss Dan! Miss Dan! I found you!” begins testing my nerves, I thank my lucky stars that this child belongs to someone else, and I send her packing accordingly. I could never (legally) send my own kids packing, and that’s the crux of my point!
Another example: I’ve got a teen daughter whose sense of self is so strong that she could find personal relevance in a space shuttle mission. What I mean is, some how, some way she could interrupt an interesting conversation about, say the space shuttle’s heat resistant tiles, and turn it into a mind numbing conversation about needing to paint her nails a particular shade of lime-green. Unfortunately, for some reason it’s impossible for me to tune her out because it seems she is always seeking validation from me, of all people!
When the interruption and subsequent “self-absorbed talk” is coming from someone else’s kid however, I thank God I am able to allow my eyes to glaze over; and can fall into a trance like state until the onslaught of senseless babbling has ended. This ability, this blessed selective attention, certainly makes other peoples kids easier to be around.
Another thing, I don’t mind other people’s kids bringing strays to my house because I can tell them, “Take that (whatever) back where you got it, or take it to your momma!” And unlike my own kids, they’ll actually do what I say!
Another reason I like other peoples kids is I can test the flavors of my new recipes on them. I must admit I have to because the kids in my own family know better. You see, after so many of my culinary experiments, they’ve learned there is no amount or combination of condiments that’ll make road-kill edible, and despite my pleading, they’ll turn their noses up. Not so with other people’s kids.
Other people’s kids, more often than my own, make me feel all warm and fuzzy in side. For example, when leaving my nieces home one evening, Cady, cried like the child she is because she didn’t want me to go. This is the first time this ever happened to me. At home, my children stand at the door and cry because they actually want me to leave!
In a word, other people’s kids are great. They are great because when they begin babbling senselessly, when they start acting up, when they start whining or when they stink because they need a diaper change they can be pointed in the direction of their parent and given a gentle nudge. Combined with the words, “Go see your momma.”, the issue that might have been endured can be thusly thwarted and redirected to someone else. In case you are wondering, I don’t feel guilty doing this because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen and heard other people redirecting my own kids toward me!
Coveting thy neighbor's wife and goods are two sins the bible instructs us to avoid. That said, is there any wonder why the biblical writers left out the rule forbidding people from coveting thy neighbor’s kids? Now I know it’s counter intuitive to think that our neighbor's kids could ever be coveted by anyone, but after thinking about this a while, I realized that I often do indeed find myself thinking how great other people's kids are compared to my own.
For instance, Rorie, our neighbor’s hyperactive three year old insists on calling me Miss Dan. This is not an overly dramatic error on her part; I mean she’s only three. I get worried about this though because I stopped correcting her, and started answering her as if I actually am “Miss” Dan. What I do therefore both when her hyperactivity and her constant onslaught of, “Miss Dan! Miss Dan! I found you!” begins testing my nerves, I thank my lucky stars that this child belongs to someone else, and I send her packing accordingly. I could never (legally) send my own kids packing, and that’s the crux of my point!
Another example: I’ve got a teen daughter whose sense of self is so strong that she could find personal relevance in a space shuttle mission. What I mean is, some how, some way she could interrupt an interesting conversation about, say the space shuttle’s heat resistant tiles, and turn it into a mind numbing conversation about needing to paint her nails a particular shade of lime-green. Unfortunately, for some reason it’s impossible for me to tune her out because it seems she is always seeking validation from me, of all people!
When the interruption and subsequent “self-absorbed talk” is coming from someone else’s kid however, I thank God I am able to allow my eyes to glaze over; and can fall into a trance like state until the onslaught of senseless babbling has ended. This ability, this blessed selective attention, certainly makes other peoples kids easier to be around.
Another thing, I don’t mind other people’s kids bringing strays to my house because I can tell them, “Take that (whatever) back where you got it, or take it to your momma!” And unlike my own kids, they’ll actually do what I say!
Another reason I like other peoples kids is I can test the flavors of my new recipes on them. I must admit I have to because the kids in my own family know better. You see, after so many of my culinary experiments, they’ve learned there is no amount or combination of condiments that’ll make road-kill edible, and despite my pleading, they’ll turn their noses up. Not so with other people’s kids.
Other people’s kids, more often than my own, make me feel all warm and fuzzy in side. For example, when leaving my nieces home one evening, Cady, cried like the child she is because she didn’t want me to go. This is the first time this ever happened to me. At home, my children stand at the door and cry because they actually want me to leave!
In a word, other people’s kids are great. They are great because when they begin babbling senselessly, when they start acting up, when they start whining or when they stink because they need a diaper change they can be pointed in the direction of their parent and given a gentle nudge. Combined with the words, “Go see your momma.”, the issue that might have been endured can be thusly thwarted and redirected to someone else. In case you are wondering, I don’t feel guilty doing this because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen and heard other people redirecting my own kids toward me!
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