Our World Gone Awry: I'm Tired of Hearing it (Kinda funny)

by Daniel Taverne


For years now I've been hearing, on the news that the world is going awry. Information sources of all sorts have been feeding us with stories of doom, gloom, and the notion at not enough is being done to combat or reverse any serious threats to our global ecology. Well I say, "I'm tired of hearing it, and I don't want to hear about it anymore'! What's the point? Everyone knows that the people who spread these 'stories' are either a bunch of status seeking fear mongers looking for some airtime, or they are money-seeking malcontents who are trying to use fear to get it from us.

I'm tired of those fear-mongers insisting that every aspect of our environment has been thoughtlessly contaminated, and I'm tired of hearing the malcontents blaming it all on us consumers. They're saying that, because we are gluttonous (consuming so much) we've polluted the air, water and land. However, since I see no evidence to support any of this, I say to them, "Go away! Complain to someone else! I don't want to hear it; I'm tired of it."

Surely, that notice on the reverse side of my water bill that says, my water is contaminated is not evidence, it is simply a ploy to raise my bill. I know this because the water that comes out of my tap looks and tastes perfectly fine to me. Also, Regardless of what people say, as with my drinking water, there is nothing wrong with the rain that falls from the sky!

Acid rain? Please, as far as I'm concerned I haven't seen, nor heard any concrete evidence in support of what is being said about its effects. I've heard that acid rain has been implicated as a causative factor in the slow growth, injury, and even deaths of entire forests in the Eastern United States, but I haven’t seen any forests dieing off around here! So I'm tired of hearing this too. And, when I'm outside in the rain, my skin doesn't burn or turn red. Therefore, its ph is of no concern to me. Ultimately, it's all hog-wash when they say sulfur dioxide (SO2) and nitrogen oxides (NOx) are the primary causes of it, and that In the US, About 2/3 of all SO2 and 1/4 of all NOx comes from electric power generation that relies on burning fossil fuels such as coal.

Neither do I believe what is being said concerning our fish being contaminated with mercury. I don't believe that there is anything really wrong with the fish that come out of the local rivers. I do believe however, that the only reason people are saying the fish are all contaminated is because they're selfish and want all the fish to themselves. Even the EPA discounts the notion that upwards of 50 tons of mercury emitted from coal burning power plants every year can increase the mercury levels in fish. And, if a government entity such as the EPA says it, it must be true.

I'm tired of hearing that global warming is only due to green house gasses such as carbon dioxide which is emitted from every fossil fueled product in the world when there is another school of thought contending that the Earths warming is a natural fluctuation which occurs about every 100,000 years. Personally, I'll go with this second explanation and guiltlessly continue driving my gas-guzzling S.U.V. everywhere.

Something else I'm tired of hearing about goes hand in hand with the green house gas complaints: air pollution. Nonsense! My air isn’t polluted. In my opinion, aside from the 'rotten egg' smell of sulfur coming from the factory two miles away, the air I breathe is perfectly fine. Recent studies have proved in fact, that This factories emission has no impact on the increased number of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in my area, nor does it contribute, as people believed, to the abnormal rates at which nearby resident's teeth seem to be rotting out of their heads. Note: we in our area, are grateful to the factory owner for funding those studies.

The next thing I'm tired of hearing is that our oceans are polluted. The fear-mongers and malcontents have been whining about how ocean going vessels dumping trash into the oceans for years now, and they've mentioned how man's dirty interference has contributed to the shrinking of the great choral reef. I'm also tired of seeing on the news how millions of dead fish wash up on the world's shores every year, and how oil slicks, caused by leaking transports, and spills, are ruining the habitat's of many species of animals as well as fish. Although tragic, I don't see how these problems affect me, so I'm not concerned with them.

Continuing with the next item I'm tired of hearing about, brings me to the burning of the rain forests. I'm certain that all of us have heard about how so much of it is burnt every day as well as how our planet will suffer when it's gone and so on and so forth. Baloney! There are plenty of other trees in the world, and with awareness programs such as Arbor Day where everyone is encouraged to plant a tree, this problem is mute.

The last thing I'll mention here is land pollution; I'm tired of hearing about it as well. surely our planet Earth is large enough that we'll never run out of places to put trash. They've been telling us for years now, to recycle. What for? I put my trash on the street, and the garbage man picks it up on Thursdays like clockwork. Since he has never refused to pick it up, I refuse to believe they are running out of dumping grounds. Also, is it really worth worrying my self over that the plastics I toss in the trash on a regular basis will still be here, on Earth, in that form for at least a million years? No-Way. I'm not going to be here, so why should I give a hoot?

To sum this all up, the issues I've mentioned here are nothing to concern you with. In fact, if you look around, you'll see that everything is fine and dandy, and soon you'll be just as tired of hearing it as I am. Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the status quo, but if I did change some things in my life, I know my neighbor wouldn't follow suit. So, I'm not changing a thing; at least not until I have distinct and irrefutable evidence that these problems really exist. Until then, I wish all those malcontents would just plain shut-up, because I'm tired of hearing it. I've heard it all before.