Honesty: Not Always The Best Policy

By Daniel Taverne

How many times, growing up, have you attempted to cover up some wrong doing? After thinking about this a while, ask yourself how many times you actually got away with it. I can tell you I was no master of deception as a child. I almost always got caught, and those few times my deception was successful, I’d feel so proud of my cover-up that I would start bragging. Then, like an idiot, I’d eventually tattle on myself.

One of those successful deceptions occurred when I was about 12 years old. I was camping on Hinkley Lake in Up-State New York with my family when I observed my dad utilizing a gallon jug of gasoline to start our camp fire, then later when everyone went to the store, I decided the fire wasn’t burning hot enough. So, what did I do? I ignorantly attempted to pour some of the gasoline on the fire. The flames immediately followed the stream of liquid up to the jug. But before the jug could explode in my hand, I threw it on the ground behind me setting a large portion of grass in the center of the camp on fire. I immediately went down to the lake with a 5 gallon bucket, scooped up some water then dumped that water onto the fire. What a mistake that was . The fire spread.

I ran back down to the beach, and this time retrieved sand. After I put the flames out, I spent the next hour replacing every bit of burned sod with green sod from a grassy area about 100 feet away. When I got through our camp site looked just as it had when everyone left. I was so proud of my self, that I couldn’t hold my tongue. I, quite stupidly, told my father what I had done, and it took a while for me to live that down.

I’m sure you heard the sayings, “Face the music.” And, “Take your medicine.” How did such innocent sounding phrases come to mean getting punished? Are these phrases parental trickery designed to keep them from having to waste energy chasing after children? Maybe, maybe not, but I know I’ve done both of these things plenty of times as a kid and it didn’t take very long for me to understand that it was much worse to continue being dishonest (stack lie upon lie) then it was to come clean. Think about it. Don’t you remember the turmoil you felt while concealing some transgression, harboring some lie? Wasn’t it a relief to finally “take your medicine” and get it over with?

When I was about 8 years old, I attempted to throw a stone over my house. Unfortunately, the stone didn’t make it, but went through a living room window instead. Did I immediately tell my mother and father what happened? No way! Instead, I went into the house and pulled the curtains closed hoping they wouldn’t find it for a long, long time. In all actuality, it didn’t take long at all for them to find the window as I had left it. Sadly for me, I let my parents go into “detective” mode where they had to question everyone in the house. Since I didn’t own up to this “accident’ right away, I was in allot more trouble.

Although I learned some powerful lessons about the consequences of being dishonest, long ago, I still occasionally find my self being less than honest, but the things I’m dishonest about only serve to either save face, or head off arguments at home. For example, Last week, I was dishonest about not owning up to being the one who ate the last of the Oreos, shifting responsibility for the empty package to the dog. Another example of dishonesty, occurred when I didn’t own up to being the one who absently put the TV’s remote control in the freezer.

In addition, I’m not honest with my wife when I don’t like something she cooked for supper. I, instead, smile, tell her it’s good then proceed to scrape my plate off into the trash at the first unobserved moment my wife leaves me to accomplish this without getting caught.

I’m not honest with my daughter about something. You see, she has an irreversible habit of leaving her bedroom light on, when she leaves. So, what I did was I slightly unscrewed the 100 watt bulb from its socket but left the 60 watt bulb working. Now, since my daughter thinks that 100 watter is blown, I don’t have to be as concerned with her leaving the switch on.

Finally, when you think about it, honesty isn’t all that difficult to figure out. All you have to do is look back at the lessons you learned as a child, then ask yourself what kind of example you want to set for others. There are circumstances though, I believe, when the truth is less than desired because the feelings of loved ones would be stepped on, or major headaches would be avoided. In these instances it’s important for the person who is telling the lie to be sure the white lie won’t hurt anyone. Be prudent when considering telling a lie, it may come back one day and you may be “facing the music’ and “taking your medicine”.